my bp story [part 1] // the girl with a broken smile

Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

~ Maroon5 ~

It was stormy day, one of those mornings when you wish you were inside out of the icy wind and snuggled deep down in your warm bed. A time to escape what was to be a stormy life-changing day for me.



I had gotten up early to be ready for my teacher placement at a school on the other side of Christchurch, which consequently meant I had to catch two buses and walk a distance to arrive on time. I vividly remember not bothering with my umbrella because every person I saw was struggling and being tossed around like they were in a fight with an invisible opponent.

 I also recall the intense pain in my ears from the wind. Trying to pull my hood-less coat collar up to relieve the intense cold as I neared the corner to the school. They felt frozen.

Big smile ~ on the far left ~ pre-university days

I arrived and quickly found the right classroom and became focused on my duties for the day. From there my memory blurs a little; observing classes, getting to know Grade 7 students I would soon teach, gleaning ideas from a fantastic mentor teacher. But a commonality throughout those days was intense headaches that had begun to creep in and dominate my days but these felt different to any experienced before... Little did I know this was a precursor to something I would grapple with for a long time afterwards.

I remember the day it happened. October 18 2000.

"Over the last three years Christchurch has received around eight gale force wind events, the most notable being the storm in October 2000. This storm is estimated to have caused about $8m worth of damages to the incomplete Lyttelton marina, sinking many yachts in the process. In Christchurch, some power lines were bought down, many trees were blown down across the city, some people had to be evacuated and damage was made to roofs and fences. One woman had a narrow escape when a tree fell and crushed the car that she was in." Christchurch City Environmental Trends 2003 Publication

Very vividly, very detailed. These environmental factors mirroring the life I was living.

turmoil ~ unrest ~ loss

My early morning routine began as usual but was interrupted that day by a sharp shooting pain from the back of my ear to my nose and suddenly the right hand side of my face dropped. Frozen, a consuming pain behind that same ear.

I remember sitting up in my bed in complete shock, stretching and squinting but with no response. Moving to the mirror to see a broken smile.

Questions soon flooded my mind...

~ where has my smile gone? ~ have I had a stroke? ~ is this a bad dream? ~

The story continues... read My story [Part 2] // Thank you disillusionment here

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We all have a story. This is one part of mine. I want to share this in hope that others will know and understand about Bell's palsy and it's rehabilitation. Please feel free to ask questions or share experiences. We can all learn so much from one another.