first things first

our toddler loves his toys, and in particular his 'little people' from fisher price. he has a great collection from a trademe purchase hubby found. we often have 'breaks' from these lying around the living room by housing them in a large plastic storage box. the other week, isaiah and i were packing these away and i stumbled upon an epiphany that has helped me reflect on my busy, working-mama life...

withdrawal

i am freaking to send this out but it's time. this is a post dedicated to all my loved ones, the ones who check in with me and don't hold a grudge when i haven't responded back straight away.

for those that are going through challenges and the ones who keep on keepin' on...

a new normal

it has been exactly a year since isaiah and i returned to nz (to the day). without sounding too cliche this year has been a mammoth one...

a much needed goodbye

maybe what i thought was protecting me has slowly stressed me out, leaving that helpless feeling. it's time to say goodbye...

grateful in june, 2015 pt 3

the third and final installment of my list of gratitudes for the month of june. i am so thankful to look back and see the blessings embedded in everyday... 

grateful in june, 2015 pt 2

this week has surely been a rollercoaster of emotion. it's been full on and i kindof forgot to find gratitude for a couple of days but i am back on track now. it really does matter in amongst the dark and cold and grey. yes, that's it...

grateful in june, 2015 pt 1

as part of my one word for this year: r - i -s- e, i have wanted to explore ways to bring a rise in my attitude. how i feel definitely is affected by the seasons and heading into the winter months, i have really noticed it. so this june, i have wanted to focus on being grateful...

what we tell ourselves

words have power.

for me, words echo long after they have been received, they send shockwaves through my emotions and pick at my heartstrings. words can be used to reassure, soothe and spark revelation... here are some words that have given direction and insight...

the false confidante

we all have obstacles; the rain falls on the just and unjust.

i'm sharing about one of mine and the realisation we are created for connection...

to my fellow chameleons

i have always described myself as a chameleon with the ability to adapt to my environment. mixing a little wild with the quiet; that's me.

have you heard the term ambivert before? {as in intro-vert and extra-vert, now ambi-vert!}... well, something tells me if you have the same tendencies as me you might be interested...

i'm here and im glad

my thirtyfourth birthday was on monday. i tried not to make a big deal about it to everyone, but in my head it was sort of a big deal. last year was probably the hardest year i have ever faced and just to be here starting another, feels like such an achievement; a triumph.

i received some special messages and gifts but one stands out the most, from my brother...

expansion

since moving home and working part time, i dubiously began a garden to see if i could at least keep something alive and maybe feed my family healthy stuff. much to my surprise it has brought so much out of me i had lost and i have totally embraced the new found creativity it has brought me.

hubby and i were talking the other night and he said {i think your garden is a picture of you}. it took me back for a minute as i was surprised at such a revelation but in many ways it's true. i thought to share with you some personal insights on my garden journey and the metaphorical picture it is painting me.

a treasure worth sharing

i have a love of thrift/opportunity/second-chance stores; there are hidden treasures there to explore and unearth. my first-choice option would be to go on my own and just get lost in the books. sometimes i flick open a book and am transported to a place and time and a familiarity that's hard to explain...

we need an epidemic

{you're ok, you'll come through this}
{that situation doesn't define you}
{i know how you feel, i have felt like that but when i did this it really helped}
{i see the pain in your eyes, help me understand what's going on}

wearing our badges

a wee while ago now, i remember being awarded badges at high school. some read 'prefect', 'whanau (family group) leader', 'sport's captain'. it was an honour to wear these, it displayed your leadership role and responsibilities. it gave me a sense of pride and accomplishment. it was an acknowledgement for hard work and that you had earned that position. wouldn't it be great if that could continue through life? unfortunately, it doesn't quite work like that. there are many ways of receiving acknowledgement but at times the way you receive criticism far outweighs the positive messages...

letting the light in

on sunday we visited the beach, {something we try to do as often as we visit ruakaka}. it is where we feel relaxed, breathing in the goodness of the salt air with the breeze reviving us. lots of people were making the most of the sun, scattered along the shoreline with their families, fishing and walking and laughing. isaiah was finding gulls to follow and more sticks to offer to the dog...

the tide will always turn

there is a fight on our hands. like a rip tide, drawing us into a savage sea. it's a struggle against silence, and isolation...

letting go and holding on

i've added a new addition to the mantlepiece, flax flowers from our wedding. i didn't know what to do with them after unpacking and so decided to display them in a simple glass vase. it's a quiet reminder of that special day, and what it means to us...

It's OK when it's not OK

In the last year, I found myself in the depths of brokenness. A family defragmented as a consequence of decisions we had nothing to do with and because of it, the echoes of questions unanswered and disregarded. Abandonment and confusion...