who we are publicly and privately

so today i was washing the daily dishes pile, looking out on the garden and listening to ted.com radio {you should try it too it goes behind the ted talks with interviews from the presenters, so fascinating!} and the radio dj was interviewing ted talk researchers on the fact of lying {and as a result cheating} and how sometimes we need to lie.

like {honey, how does this look on me?} better half thinks {does she really want me to tell her what i think?} and sizing up the situation, replies {it looks so good babe!} it's fascinating to think that there are times in our lives when the truth might be more hurtful than a little white lie, or a protective phrase uttered to make the other person feel good may not be the total truth.

it got me thinking of a situation i randomly overheard in a carpark on the weekend...

two guys were jumping into their car after leaving a store and rejoicing at the amount of money they had left in their account after paying for the purchase, {well, she accepted it didn't she?} one said, {but how much did she charge us?} the other responded; their body language and conversation showed they were excited at the fact that shop assistant had made a mistake on their eftpos purchase and entered into the keypad the wrong purchase price which meant they got something for much cheaper than it's original price. i'm not sure about you but that bugged me a bit.

it made me squirm inside that we can make ourselves feel ok when being dishonest, kind of happy to get away with it. and yip, i have totally talked myself around an issue to make it easier for myself to not be completely honest so i am writing this more out of personal conviction really.

telling the truth can be hard and, at times, painful. it's a challenge to be honest about how you feel or your thoughts on a hot topic if you know someone else may think otherwise or oppose your thoughts. if self and public deception continues, it's something that becomes easier and easier; in fact it can become so ingrained it can become second nature.

can we take a moment and think about the online social cultures we are involved in too? here's an extreme example that made me so so sad.

this was a screenshot from march 2013 {taken from my newsfeed which i have kept for this long}. to see this taking place online in such a public domain winded my heart, and the humiliation and judgement was hurtful to read - i could only look at this woman and think she is a daughter, sister, maybe a mother... someone who deserves love and to know she is important and valued. the way this post went, it reminds me of the days when people were tarred and feathered publicly as a way of shaming them {and i purposely didn't put the owner's account on the screenshot too}, but nowadays it can be done publicly but behind closed doors... or is it?

there are differing research studies and opinions that say our online selves are far my deceptive than our true selves, but some camps say that our digital identity is developing a greater level of transparency in society; the knowledge that what we put online {is as permanent as a tattoo} can follow us and reflects greatly on our future selves. it's an interesting thought to consider before posting that little white lie or degrading message when sitting behind your computer screen or device that may seem disconnected from real life, but in fact, says more about you than you may realise.

my teeny bit of guidance around this subject is to consider your online world as you do the real world, is it going to be uplifting, create a harmless giggle or inspire someone? Let's spread that around. my aim is to encourage others to use these new-found horizons online as way to harness positive self-esteem and who we are - together. it's what the next generation need for us to do for them.

what are your thoughts on this? anything sparked by this post?

:: holding on to the good ::